Written by Imagine This…
I want you to imagine this. You’ve been working for 30 or 40 years. You built a great life. Everything is on track. You’ve retired. Life is good.
And then one day, we’re gone.
But instead of leaving peace, we leave a nightmare. Our family has to walk into a courtroom. A stranger with a gavel and a robe decides who gets what. They don’t know you. They don’t know your values. They don’t know your family or your situation.
That’s probate.
Probate isn’t just a little scary. It can cause arguments, create long delays, and cost real money. On average, around 5% of your estate can disappear into court costs and legal fees. For many families, that’s tens of thousands of dollars… sometimes more.
But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to be that way. You can set up a plan now so your wishes, your values, and your stuff go to the right people (without the courtroom drama).
What Is Probate (and Why Avoid It)?
In plain English, probate is the court process of retitling your stuff after you die. When you pass, many assets get “frozen.” The court steps in to figure out who gets the house, the car, the accounts… close to everything.
Why probate can be a problem
- Time: Some cases take months. Some take years.
- Cost: Filing fees, lawyers, and court time add up fast (often 3–7% of the estate).
- Public: Probate is public record. Anyone can look it up.
- Conflict: When people show up to “make their case,” it can split families.
I’ve seen it up close. I worked with one family whose father handled all the money and left clear intentions. Even then, probate took 14 months just to get the keys to the house he wanted his kids to live in. Meanwhile, bills had to be paid while money was stuck in the process. That turns grief into stress in a hurry.
Two Common Misunderstandings
1) “If I have a will, my family avoids probate.”
Not quite. A will does not avoid probate. It can guide the judge, but a judge still reviews it, invites claims, and makes final decisions. That takes time and money.
2) “I’ll just add my kids to my accounts.”
Be careful. If you use joint ownership, it must often be “with rights of survivorship” to pass directly to the co-owner. Even then, joint ownership can create gift-tax questions, disinherit other children, and expose assets to a co-owner’s creditors or lawsuits. You might solve one problem (avoid probate) while creating three new ones.
Smarter Ways to Pass Assets (Without the Courtroom)
Option A: Use Beneficiaries (Where It Makes Sense)
Many accounts let you name a beneficiary: life insurance, 401(k)s, IRAs, and other retirement plans. If you’re not worried about how the money will be used, naming a person directly can make transfer simple and fast.
If you do want rules or protections (timing, purpose, age, creditor issues), consider naming a trust as the beneficiary so your wishes are followed.
Option B: Consider a Lady Bird Deed (If Your State Allows It)
I’m in Florida, and Florida allows Lady Bird deeds. This lets you:
- Keep full control of your home while you’re alive (live in it, refinance it, etc.).
- Name who gets it when you pass… without probate.
- Change your mind later if needed.
It’s a simple, powerful way to move real estate to loved ones while staying in the driver’s seat.
Option C: Make Gifts While You’re Alive
If your retirement plan is set, you can give during your lifetime:
- Annual gifts: In 2025, you can gift $18,000 per person ($36,000 for couples) without tapping your lifetime exemption.
- Direct payments: Pay tuition directly to a school or medical bills directly to a provider. These don’t count as taxable gifts.
- 529 plans: If college help is the goal, you can front-load five years of gifts into a 529. At $18,000 per year, that’s $90,000 per donor (or $180,000 per couple) counted as five years of gifts, all at once.
Gifting can reduce the size of your estate, skip probate on those assets, and bless your family right now.
The Best All-Around Tool: A Properly Designed and Funded Trust
A lot of people say, “I’ll just set up a trust.” Great instinct. But two things matter most:
- Design (the rules)
- Funding (putting assets in it)
Michael Jackson famously had a trust, but it wasn’t funded, so assets still ended up in probate. Don’t let that be your story.
Step 1: Choose the Legal Structure
- Revocable Trust (Living Trust): You can change it anytime. It’s usually counted as part of your estate for taxes while you’re alive. After you pass, it becomes irrevocable.
- Irrevocable Trust: Harder to change. Often provides stronger protections and may not be counted in your estate for taxes, depending on design.
Think of a trust like a values-driven toolbox. You can write rules that say how, when, and why money is used. School, a first home, starting a business, healthcare, and more.
Step 2: Fund the Trust
“Funding” means moving ownership or beneficiary rights to the trust:
- Change beneficiaries on accounts (so the trust receives them).
- Retitle real estate to the trust (or use a deed strategy like a Lady Bird deed where appropriate).
- Move business interests into the trust.
- Add bank and investment accounts (or at least the beneficiary designations).
A trust that isn’t funded is like opening a business but never putting money in the business account. It exists on paper, but it can’t do its job.
Step 3: What Can Go In?
- Real estate (homes, rentals, land)
- Retirement accounts (often by naming the trust as a beneficiary, depending on your goals)
- Business interests
- Bank and brokerage accounts
- Life insurance
- Digital property (patents, IP, online assets)
When the trust owns (or is the beneficiary of) your assets, there’s no need to freeze anything and no judge is needed to retitle. Your trustee simply follows your instructions. That keeps things private, faster, and far less stressful for your family.
Keep It Current (Life Changes, So Should Your Plan)
A trust is not “set it and forget it.” Review it when life changes:
- You sell a house or buy a new one
- You sell a business or buy one
- Family changes (births, deaths, marriages, moves)
- Big shifts in your assets or goals
Some families review once a year. Others check after major events. Either way, keep it current so your plan keeps working.
Don’t Pass Only Money. Pass Your Values
I’m big on numbers and strategy. But your voice, values, and vision matter just as much. That’s why I encourage every family to include a Legacy Letter with their plan.
Your Legacy Letter explains what you believe, what you learned, and why you made these decisions. Wealth without wisdom can fade fast. You’ve probably heard the pattern: first generation builds it, second protects it, third loses it. It happens when we pass on money but not meaning.
Share the story behind the plan so your family understands the “why,” not just the “what.”
Quick Recap: How to Avoid Probate (and Drama)
- A will doesn’t avoid probate.
- Joint accounts can create tax, creditor, and fairness issues.
- Use beneficiary designations wisely (or name your trust as beneficiary when you need control).
- Consider Lady Bird deeds if your state allows them.
- Give during life (annual gifts, direct tuition/medical payments, front-load a 529).
- Create a well-designed, fully funded trust—and keep it updated.
- Add a Legacy Letter so your values live on with your wealth.
Your goal is simple: less court, less conflict, less cost… and more clarity for your family.
More wisdom. Less Worry.
Dre Griggs
P.S.
Free Resource: Trust & Legacy Blueprint
I created a free guide. The Trust & Legacy Blueprint. It walks you through the 10 most costly mistakes that push families into probate and shows you how to fix them step-by-step. You’ll also get my Legacy Letter template to help you pass on your values.
Grab it at HappilyRetire.com
Image from: Freepik.com